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Part 3: Mulan's First Day of Camp - News From the General


 
[Cut to Mulan sleeping in her tent. Mushu winds up Cri-Kee's wings. Cri-Kee rings like an alarm clock]
Mushu All right, rise and shine sleeping beauty. [Mulan rises and blinks] C'mon [rapping on Mulan's head with each syllable] hup, hup, hup. [Mulan groans, lies back down and pulls the covers over her head. Mushu pulls the covers off Mulan entirely] Get your clothes on. Get ready. Got breakfast for ya. [Mushu jumps onto Mulan's knee with a bowl of porridge] Look, you get porridge, and it's happy to see you. [Mushu shows her the bowl with two eggs and bacon looking like a smiley face. Cri-Kee pops up out from the bowl of porridge] Hey, get outta there, you gonna make people sick! [Mushu uses chopsticks to push Cri-Kee out of the porridge]
Mulan Am I late?
Mushu [while feeding Mulan] No time to talk. Now remember, it's your first day of training so listen to your teacher and no fighting. Play nice with the other kids, unless of course one of the other kids wanna fight, then you have to kick the other kid's butt.
Mulan [with her mouth full of food] But I don't wanna kick the other kid's butt.
Mushu Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face [Mulan looks at him with wide eyes and chipmunk cheeks full of food]. I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C'mon scare me, girl!
Mulan [swallows the food]: Rrrrrrr!
Mushu [rolling back into the half eaten bowl of porridge] Oh, that's my tough looking warrior. That's what I'm talking about. Now get out there and make me proud. [Mushu ties up Mulan's hair]
[Khan whinnies and pokes his head into the tent]
Mushu What do you mean the troops just left?
Mulan [acting surprised] They what!? [Mulan hurriedly puts on her clothes and jumps out of the tent going off to join the other recruits]
Mushu [running out from the tent calling after Mulan] Wait, you forgot your sword. My little baby off to destroy people [sniffle].
[Cut to the troops muddling around near Shang's tent]
Chi Fu [enters stage left] Order people, order!
Recruit #2 I'd like a pan fried noodle.
Chien-Po Oh, oh, sweet and pungent shrimp [Ling and others begin to laugh]
Recruit #3 Moo goo gai pan
Chi Fu That's not funny.
[Mulan comes running up to the group]
Ling [noticing Mulan's arrival] Looks like our new friend slept in this morning. [Mulan stops between Ling and Yao] [to Ping] Hellooo Ping, Are you hungry?
Yao Yeah, 'cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich. [grabs Mulan by the shirt collar drawing back his other arm. Mulan hides her face with her hands. Ling looks away, closes his eyes, and puts his fingers in his ears so that he wont hear anything]
All Soldiers [in agreement with Yao] Yeah.
Shang [loudly] Soldiers! [The soldiers line up quicky. Shang takes off his shirt and grabs a bow and quiver of arrows. Mulan is duly impressed by Shang's physique] You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning. [Shang walks down the line of soldiers] Anyone who acts otherwise will answer to me.
Yao Ooooo, tough guy.
Shang [turning around with knocked arrow pointing towards Yao] Yao. [All recruits take a step back leaving Yao one step forward. Shang Points arrow skyward and shoots it into the top of a high pole] Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow.
Yao [bows to Shang] I'll get that arrow pretty boy. And I'll do it with my shirt on. [Yao prepares to leap onto that pole]
Shang One moment, you seem to be missing something. [Chi Fu brings out two large bronze disks. Shang takes out one disk and holds it high speaking to all the troops] This represents discipline [Shang hands the weight to Yao and the weight falls to the ground taking Yao's arm with it] and this represents strength [Shang hands the other weight to Yao making him fall to the ground. The troops laugh while Mulan looks concerned]. You need both to reach the arrow.
[Yao climbs up the pole then slips down under the weight. Ling, Chien-Po, and Mulan each take their turn and fall down. Mulan rubs her behind as she walks away in front of Shang]
Shang We've got a long way to go.
[Song I'll Make a Man Out of You]
[Shang throws staffs to the soldiers. Yao intercepts Mulan's staff and trips her with it]
Shang Let's get down to business--
to defeat the Huns.
[Shang throws up two clay pots and breaks them apart with his staff. The troops are highly impressed]
Recruits [putting their staffs out at arms length, spoken] Hua
Shang

Did they send me daughters
when I asked for sons?
[Ling puts a cricket down Mulan's back causing her to flail erratically]
You're the saddest bunch
I ever met
[Most soldiers fall as Mulan moves uncontrollably]
But you can bet
before we're through
[Shang does a somersault in the air landing near Mulan. He takes a pole in the stomach. Shang stops Mulan and takes her staff. He grabs her by the collar]
Mister, I'll make a man
out of you

[Shang steps on a lever throwing up 3 targets which he hits with 3 arrows from one bow]
Tranquil as a forest
[The recruits try and fail. Mulan gets ready to fire when Mushu sticks a target on her arrow before she shoots. Mulan looks at Mushu's in shock and pauses. Shang looks disdainfully at Mulan as she cracks a huge smile]
But on fire within
[Shang balances a bucket of water on his head holding a staff. The recruits fire stones at him which Shang deflect with the staff]
Once you find your center
You are sure to win
[Mulan wobbles with the bucket of water on her head. As the recruits throw stones at her the bucket tips over onto her head]
You're a spineless, pale,
pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
[Shang throws his hand down into a river and retrieves a fish. Mulan throws her hand down into the river and retrieve's Yao's foot. Mushu comes out of the water with a fish in hand to give to Mulan]
Somehow I'll make a man
out of you!

Chien-Po [running through a field of fire arrows]
I'm never gonna catch
my breath
Yao [following Chien-Po, falls and gets hit in the butt with an arrow]
Say good-bye to those
who knew me
Ling [Banging his head on a stone slab]
Boy I was a fool in school
for cutting gym
[Shang practices martial arts with Mulan. With a punch to the face he knocks her back into a tree]
Mushu [from the tree acts as a boxing coach]
This guy's got 'em
scared to death
Mulan [Mushu pushes Mulan back out into the ring]
Hope he doesn't see
right through me
Chien-Po [stops as he's hopping across poles protruding from water causing Shang and the recruits to pile into him]
Now I really wish that I
knew how to swim!
Shang and Chorus [Cannon fire misses the target in the middle of an open field. Ling kicks the support structure out from Mulan's cannon and it begins to fall. Mulan quickly grabs the cannon and it fires high and back towards the camp landing and exploding Chi Fu's tent]
(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
[Picture of Shang looking over the camp from the hill not looking pleased]
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon
Shang [his troops laden with poles on their shoulders carrying bags of grain - one on each side. They march up a mountain]
Time is racing toward us
till the Huns arrive
[Chi Fu points Shang's eyes back to a struggling Mulan who falls to the ground. Cri-Kee and Mushu try to pick her up but hide when Shang comes up to her. Shang picks up her pole with grain, puts it on top of his and returns to the troops. Mulan looks rejected]
Heed my every order
and you might survive
[Shang hands the reigns of Khan to Mulan]
You're unsuited for
the rage of war
So pack up, go home,
you're through
How could I make a man
out of you?
Shang and Chorus

[Mulan takes the weights and tries to climb the pole again]
(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
[Mulan ties the weights together behind the pole and uses the cloth to help her shimmy up the pole]
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
[As the sun begins to rise the recruits come out of their tents to cheer on Mulan] (Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
[As Shang comes out of his tent, the arrow he shot up onto the pole comes down to his feet. He looks up and sees Mulan sitting on top of the pole] Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon

[order of events during the last repeat of the chorus:
Troops hit all targets with arrows correctly.
Mulan racing in front of Shang and the recruits with the pole and weights on her shoulders.
Mulan kicking Shang in the face with a round house. Shang looking pleased.
Chien-Po doing acrobatics on the poles as the troops follow.
Staffs being thrown to troops, Yao hands Mulan hers.
Yao running through arrows.
Yao grabs Mulan's staff and hands it to her.
Troop staff practice #1. (Hya)
Ling breaking the block
Troop staff Practice #2. (Hya)
Mulan holding up fish.
Troop staff practice #3.
Cannon fire hitting the Hun Target.
Troop staff practice #4 - jumping in the air (Hya)
]
(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon

[End Song]
[Interlude<?i>]
[Cut to Shan Yu sitting on top of a tree. He cuts off the very top with his sword. His falcon swoops buy and drops a doll. Shan-Yu takes the doll, sniffs it, looks surprised, and drops down to the ground]
Shan-Yu [tossing the doll to Hun Strong Man] What do you see?
Hun Strong Man [feeling the doll] Black pine, from the high mountains. [Long Hair Hun Man takes the doll from Hun Strong Man. Bald Hun Man #1 takes a hair as it passes by him]
Bald Hun Man #1 White horse hair. Imperial stallions.
Long Hair Hun Man [sniffing the doll] Sulfur, from cannons.
Shan-Yu This doll came from a village in the Tung Shao Pass, where the Imperial Army's waiting for us.
Hun Archer We can avoid them easily.
Shan-Yu [shaking his head] No, the quickest way to the Emperor is through that pass. Besides, the little girl will be missing her doll. We should return it to her.
[End Interlude]
[Cut to Mulan by the lake with Mushu, Khan, and Cri-Kee]
Mushu Hey, oh, ah, no, this is not a good idea. What if somebody sees you?
Mulan [from behind the reeds] Just because I look like a man doesn't mean I have to smell like one.
Mushu [holding a towel covering his eyes with his ears] So a couple of guys don't rinse out their socks, picky, picky, picky. Well myself I kinda like that corn chip's smell.
Mulan [running by Mushu and jumps into the lake splashing water on Mushu] Ahhhhhhh.
Mushu Okay, all right, all right, that's enough. Now, c'mon, get out before you get all pruny and stuff [holding out a towel towards Mulan keeping his eyes covered<?i>].
Mulan Mushu, if you're so worried, go stand watch.
Mushu Yeah, yeah, [walking in a womanly fashion speaking in woman's voice] stand watch Mushu while I blow our secret with my stupid girly habits. [back to normal] Humph, hygiene.
Cri-Kee [alarmed, tugging on Mushu's whiskers] Chirp, Chirp.
Yao Me first! Me first! Me First! [Yao, Ling and Chien-Po run by Mushu smacking him in the face with colored boxers]
Mushu [gasps] Ah. We're doomed! There are a couple of things I know they're bound to notice!
[Yao and Ling jump into the water. Chien-Po dips in his toe to check temperature then jumps in causing a large wave. Yao and Ling ride the wave towards Mulan. Mulan sees them and hides her face behind a lily pad]
Yao [calling] Hey, Ping.
[Mulan peeks over the lily pad and spreads it on the water covering her chest]
Mulan [speaking nervously and unnaturally in a manly voice] Oh hi guys, I didn't know you were *here*. [Yao, Ling and Chien-Po exchange 'this boy is strange' looks] I was just washing, so now I'm clean and I'm gonna go. Bye, bye. [Mulan hides behind a rock keeping her front facing the rock<?i>]
Ling [from behind Mulan] Come back here. I know we were jerks to you before so lets start over. [extending his hand to shake hands with Mulan] Hi, I'm Ling!
Mulan [covering her chest with her left arm, she turns and shakes his hand with an outstretched right arm, smiling] Heh, heh. [Mulan turns and wades away from Ling and runs into Chien-Po]
Chien-Po [taking a lily pad off his head] And I'm Chien-Po.
Mulan [waving slightly and smiling] Hello Chien-Po.
[Yao stands on top of a rock looking down at the others. Mulan looks down into the water and hides her eyes with her free hand]
Yao And I am Yao, king of the rock. And there's nothin' you girls can do about it.
Ling [taking a fighting stance]: Oh, yeah? Well, I think Ping [elbowing Mulan] and I could take you.
Mulan [wading away] I really don't want to take him anywhere.
Ling [following Mulan] Ping, we have to fight!
Mulan No we don't. [unnaturally] We could just close our eyes and swim around.
Ling C'mon don't be such a g--Ouch! Something bit me.
Mushu<?b> [popping out of the water between Mulan and Ling] What a nasty flavor.
Ling [with fear and gusto] Snake!
Chien-Po [while all three of them climb up the rock and on each other] Snake, snake.
[Mulan whistles for Khan and wades back to shore. Khan comes close enough to shore and Mulan hides behind Khan as she wraps a towel around her body]
[Cut to Yao, Ling and Chien-Po calmed down sitting on the rock]
Ling Some king of the rock! [Yao pushes him off the rock]
[Cut to Mulan with towel wrapped around her]
Mulan Boy, that was close.
Mushu [brushing his teeth] No, that was vile! You owe me big!
Mulan I never want to see a naked man again. [the rest of the troops run by naked and jump into the lake]
Mushu Hey, don't look at me. I ain't biting no more butts.
[Cut to Mulan outside Chi Fu's Tent having dressed fully. Chi Fu and Shang are talking from inside]
Chi Fu [fading in] You think your troops are ready to fight? Hah! They would not last a minute against the Huns.
Shang They completed their training.
Chi Fu Those *boys* are no more fit to be soldiers than you are to be Captain. Once the general reads my report, your troops will never see battle.
Mushu [from outside the tent] Oh no you don't. I've worked too hard to get Mulan into this war. [to Cri-Kee] This guy's messing with my plan.
Shang [grabbing onto the front of Chi Fu's clip board] We're not finished.
Chi Fu [pulling the board away] Be careful, Captain. The General may be your father, but I am the Emperor's counsel. And, oh, by the way, huh, I got that job on my own. [opens the entrance to the tent for Shang] You're dismissed.
[Shang storms out of the tent and starts to walk by Mulan]
Mulan [in a manly voice] Hey, I'll hold him and you punch, heh, heh... [Shang walks by without reacting] or not. [calling out to Shang] For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain. [Shang pauses to glance back, then continues forward]
Mushu [looking at Mulan's fixed gaze on Shang] I saw that!
Mulan [innocently] What?
Mushu [teasing] You like him don't you?
Mulan No, I--
Mushu Yeah right, Yeah sure. [pointing to Mulan's tent] Go to your tent. [Mulan walks away with a look of delight. Mushu talks to Cri-Kee] I think it's time we took this war into our own hands [rubbing hands together].
[Mushu and Cri-Kee wait outside Chi Fu's Tent. Chi Fu emerges with carrying a scrub brush and wrapped in a towel and with big showering slippers on his feet. He whistles as he walks off. Mushu and Cri-Kee enter his tent. Cri-Kee uses his legs to write up a letter. He finishes and Mushu takes the paper]
Mushu Okay, okay, let me see what you've got. From General Li, dear son, we're waiting for the huns at the pass and it would mean a lot if you'd come and back us up. [sarcastically] That's great except you forgot, "and since we're out of potpourri, perhaps you wouldn't mind bringing up some." Hellooooo, this is the army! Make it sound more urgent, please! You know what I'm talkin' about? [Cri-Kee starts writing the note again] That's better, much better. [taking the note] Let's go.
[Cut to Khan drinking water from the trough. Mushu is on his back]
Mushu Khan-ie baby, hey, we need a ride. [Khan squirts Mushu off his back with water from his mouth]
[Cut to Chi Fu walking out of the lake wrapped in a towel, sounds of laughter can be heart from the troops]
Chi Fu [muttering] Insubordinate ruffians. [then calling to the troops] You men owe me a new pair of slippers. And I do not squeal like a girl. [a panda bear chomps down on the slipper Chi Fu is holding] Aaaaaahhhhhh!
Mushu [sitting on top of the panda bear behind a dummy of a soldier using sticks to gesticulate with the dummy's arms to push the note towards Chi Fu. Cri-Kee works the mouth] Urgent news from the general! [Chi Fu looks over the panda] What's the matter, you've never seen a 'black and white' before?
Chi Fu Who are you?
Mushu Excuse me! I think the question is: who are you? We're in a war man! There's no time for stupid questions. I should have your hat for that, [the panda starts walking forward] snatch it right off of your head [swiping with an arm at Chi Fu's hat. Mushu turns the upper half of the dummy around after the panda passes Chi Fu. Chi Fu begins reading the message]. But I'm feeling gracious today, so carry on before I report you. [the panda walks up a tree taking Mushu and Cri-Kee with him out of sight]
Chi Fu [looking around for Mushu but not finding him, then runs into Shang's tent] Captain. Urgent news from the General. We're needed at the front.
Mushu [from up in the tree] Pack your bags Cri-Kee, we're movin' out. [Cri-Kee high fives Mushu]

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